How does one tell if they are being selfish? Where does someone draw the line between being selfish and being selfless?
I have been thinking about this for about the last week. It started when Margie, Rafa, and I went to Azusa last week and met up with my family. Toward the end of the day, a subject was brought up about a possible change come August. Most know what I want to do, but how do I know if it is right? After talking to my family about this situation, I began to wonder if I was just being selfish in wanting a change. Every reason that I come up with for this change always starts with "I want," and I don't know if that is enough to follow through with it. One of the main reasons that I want this change is because I believe that it will help in my walk, but I don't know if this is being selfish. Does this seem that I am looking out for myself? Am I forgetting everyone else and just doing what I want to do? Everyone I have talked to agrees with me about the situation, which helps a little, but I still can't shake this feeling of being selfish.
Another reason that I am questioning this decision is because I don't know the effect it will have on my family. If I were to go through with everything, it would most likely put my family in a bit of a bind for a while. I just don't know if it is really worth it. Is it worth risking this just for something that I want?
I guess my main problem is that I can't decided if this is something that is needed or something that is just wanted. Then I guess the next question is how do I figure out if it is a need or a want?
A need is something you can't live without. A want is something you can do without.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really awesome that you're weighing the pros and the cons to help you make the decision. You're not impulsive... unlike me. :)
Two things: 1) I don't think it's selfish if it's going to aid in your spiritual walk. I don't think it's selfish if it will keep you sane. I don't think it's selfish if in doing so, you're given opportunities to be more selfless. 2) I understand the concern about your family, but the question to be asked is: will you not have ways to help out? If so, then do. If not, then maybe it isn't worth the risk.
My advice is to continue seeking God in this... it's not easy to do this, especially with things that seemingly don't "involve" him BUT to seek God is to seek the right direction. And you can't go wrong with that.
OMG this is another blog by itself.
Wuv u, J!
L